– The Nile Cruise –

WE ARE SETTING SAIL THIS SUMMER in downtown richmond

The champagne bottle is breaking! Join us June 1st for the maiden voyage of the HG Nile Steamer. We’re floating in style from Luxor to Aswan with stops in the Valley of the Kings, the Temple of Edfu, and other wonders of ancient Egypt. We are thinking of morning tea on deck with views of the palms, an afternoon gin and tonic between the gentle cross breeze of the Eastern and Western deserts, and unpacking our evening dress for dinner at the captain’s table. 

All of this is possible-ish from the comfort of our Lobby Bar with a hearty squint and a little imagination thanks to a transporting installation by Rick Araluce and Steven LaRose. The two Seattle artists—responsible for much of the course design, peeps, and trompe-l’oeil painting that bring the romance, mystery and unease to Hotel Greene year round—have returned for this fun and immersive boondoggle.  

The steamer’s barkeep has promised a special menu befitting a deck chair and a journey back in time, and our captain has insisted upon hors d’oeuvres worthy of persnickety English travelers in the shadow of the Sphinx. 

No nile cruise installation in a faux-hotel miniature golf course is complete without… A backstory!

Oh yes. It is June, 1923. An astonishing find in the Valley of the Kings. The tomb of the boy king Tutankhamun has been discovered intact. Archeologist Howard Carter has broken the seal and set the imagination of the Western World on fire. People flock to the site, despite the rumored curse, to see for themselves what has lain in darkness for 3,000 years. 

Herr Kleist at Hotel Greene too is caught up in the frenzy. An amateur Egyptologist who keeps a small collection of ancient trinkets in his office, Herr Kleist immediately announces his vacation to the staff, packs his bags, picks up his nephew and heads for Cairo. The staff is amazed. Herr Kleist never takes vacations. They have never seen him so giddy! His abundant joy is captured in letters home that describe his days and evenings in the Valley in minute detail, filled with his usual wry reflections and bon mots, including a meeting with Dr Carter himself! 

Ahh, but the problem with euphoria is that it can, and often will, engender folly. Herr Kleist is behaving in an inexplicable manner.  Hotel Greene’s general manager has “thrown caution to the winds” and made an investment! He has bought a boat, the Ibis, a long disused, shuttered-up relic of a ferry. Herr Kleist is convinced that Hotel Greene can profit by running cruises up and down the Nile. He pitches his idea to the owners and, amazingly, they authorize the purchase. 

The staff cannot stop chuckling about their usually cautious manager and his dream. Ganz the doorman notes to others that the word “investment” is rather optimistic. The maid, Zosia, is happy for Herr Kleist but worries over his triumph. The boat itself has been described as a “leaky old tub” by many. Herr Kleist may well have overpaid and maybe not gotten the necessary permits in order to set sail! But, kind Herr Kleist has beheld the gold mask of the Boy King and is under a spell. In truth he barely inspected the boat before handing over the funds. Undeterred by the rust and the rotting floorboards, he completes the necessary renovations, re-christens the vessel as the HG Nile Steamer, deems it “seaworthy,” and assembles a captain and crew. He has even decided to host the maiden voyage himself!  How will this madness end!?